there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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