Say something about gay babies.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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