dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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