how can u be prego again
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she peed on how many people?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize