She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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