addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I have fence marks all over my body
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
