May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
