I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
