note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
