So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How external is "for external use only"?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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