i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
