hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You ruined the universe
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
