Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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