yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
