Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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