I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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