Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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