I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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