so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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