Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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