i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
