I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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