Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We're too hungover to prance.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
