we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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