check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
