Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize