His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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