Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize