I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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