Can Purell be used as lube?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
