Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
