i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
