it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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