consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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