yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
