We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
