Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
