I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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