It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
