It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
