He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
