I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
