hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
