Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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