Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
