You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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