His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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