You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
