I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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