Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
