Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
