i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
