I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize