we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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