my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
