seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
