I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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