If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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