my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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