I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
