brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This is not my ceiling
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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