Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
