So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
only if we run a train.
done.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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