I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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