Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
