It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
