whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
