You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize