god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
