Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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