It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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